Although I miss him lots. Also...if he does rethink this I think I'd really love to be with him again. He really is amazing you know. I know He meant no wrong, he just didn't wanna hurt me. At all. But that's hard when you feel you need to break up with someone. You know?

I dunno just telling you guys my thoughts. This is a journal after all.

I know it sounds like I'm clinging to him, it more like I'll always keep a spot open for him in the back of my mind. He's that special to me. He is my mommy after all. (If you don't this get ask me.) He's always been the nicest person I know. Besides to his family who all act like jerks to him. I don't see why. It makes me mad. Mostly his dad who thinks the only thing to life is working. I think life should be living it to the fullest, if work is a part of that, let it be so.

I wish to be in a relationship, but don't want it to be rushed. I also don't wanna completely give up on it...I guess we will just see how things play out. I always feel really lonely with out another to say "I love you" to everyday, someone to share even your most secret thoughts, and will tell you everything will be alright. I love hearing that we'll be together forever. Although I really regret being so close when it ends the way it has the past two times.It just makes parting all the harder. Forever is such a strong word that I don't think I'm going to be saying for a long time.

Sorry if I sound kinda down. I'm really not.

Just kinda reflecting on things.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.